A New Beginning

Maundy is from a Latin word meaning "Mandate" or Commandment. It reminds us that on the Thursday before Jesus Christ was crucified he instituted the Holy Communion at the Last Supper. At that Supper he commanded his disciples to continue with this celebration of Holy Communion as a way of remembering what his death accomplished. He also commanded his disciples to serve others by using the image of the washing of the feet of his disciples

Today is Easter Sunday and I'm grateful to God for my opportunity to celebrate another one. But what I want to write about is Maundy Thursday. As the quote above says, "Maundy" comes from the Latin word for mandate or commandment. It commemorates the last supper where the disciples were commanded by Jesus to celebrate the "eating of the bread and drinking of the cup" as a way to remember the sacrifice He was about to make for us.

Communion was something we celebrated monthly as a Methodist, weekly when I was a member of St Catherine's Episcopal Church, and weekly when I was a member of St Luke's MCC. I always preferred the weekly Communion. It was the focal point for me in the service...my chance to re-examine my heart, confess my sins, be forgiven, and then remember and honor what Jesus did for everyone, including someone like me.

But I had given up attending church for quite a while because of the traumatic way things ended at St Luke's MCC. I was angry at God and the "people of God" and wanted nothing to do with them. I found solace and a return to spiritual values through the love and compassion of the KTC Tibetan Buddhist group. I tried hard to be a good Buddhist, and I still carry with me many of the things I learned about the importance of love and compassion. I just couldn't seem to let go of God in my life, even when I thought I wanted to.

I guess God decided that I needed a very tangible, "road to Damascus" kind of experience to bring my focus back to where it belonged for me. I had a "lifestyle" conversion that both brought me back to God but also created a relationship with Jesus that I never quite had before. God changed my sexual orientation overnight and the only information that was given to me was that I was to be married to a particular man. My life and its focus has changed and I know that my life is in the hands of God and this man.

You might wonder what that has to do with Maundy Thursday and Easter. I attended services on Maundy Thursday this past week and took communion for the first time in about 5 years. I had been offered opportunities within that time period but had declined each one. I had decided that I wouldn't take Communion again until I could take it with the man God had given my life to. But I was wrong to do so and I felt that very clearly Thursday evening. My relationship with God and the remembrance of what Jesus did for me was something that I had no right to put on hold for anything or anybody. It was a very emotional experience for me but I know it was the right thing to do. I owe God my life and all things in it, and to choose to not celebrate that has been the ultimate ingratitude toward God on my part.

So, this Easter, I celebrate with a new spirit and a new heart. I will continue to wait until God, and the man God gave me to, believe me to be ready to take my place beside him and to support him in the ministry God has planned for him. What I won't do is fail to remember what God did for me through Jesus. When given the opportunity, I will ask God to make my heart right, hear my confession, grant me forgiveness, and allow me to take part in the remembrance of the ultimate sacrifice Jesus made, even for someone like me.

And I will still look forward to the day that I can share that celebration with the man who will be my husband.