A Step back
I haven't been doing the straight life very long and getting to know men on a personal and sometimes intimate level has been a good experience for me. I am grateful that the men I've gotten close to are men of quality and integrity. When I interact with them I have a hard time understanding why women frequently speak so badly about men in general. I feel safe with the men I know.
In reading the news today, I came across a story about the horrible things being done to the women of the Congo by the Congolese soldiers. It seems rape is the order of the day...and not just "ordinary" American-style rape (which is bad enough) but very damaging and heartbreaking rape that frequently includes the woman watching her husband and children killed and raped as well. Here are a few excerpts:
"Also in the room is 28-year-old Henriette Nyota. Her spirit is all but broken. Three years ago, she said, she was gang raped as her husband and four children were forced to watch. The men in uniform then disemboweled her husband and continued raping her and her two oldest daughters, 10 and 8. The assault went on for three days."
"Fifteen-year-old Olivier was sitting down to dinner with his family when the front door of their house was smashed in. Olivier's father was the first to be killed followed by his mother, right in front of the children. They then raped Olivier's three sisters, and when he tried to fight them they turned on him. One at a time, more than a dozen in all, he said."
Reading these stories terrify me. What if that happened to me?? Could I survive it?? Would I want to??
I always expect people who do horrible things to others to look like horrible people...but they usually look just like everyone else. They look like, and many times are, someone's husband and father. What changes men in order for them to behave this way?? What keeps the men I know from changing like this??
Stories like this make me want to retreat back into a manless world for safety (or perceived safety). How do I stay open to the good men I know without always wondering. I can't imagine the men I know doing something like that but what about the wives and daughters of the Congolese soldiers...can they imagine their men doing this?
Today I'm feeling apprehensive about men...not afraid exactly...but not as trusting.
In reading the news today, I came across a story about the horrible things being done to the women of the Congo by the Congolese soldiers. It seems rape is the order of the day...and not just "ordinary" American-style rape (which is bad enough) but very damaging and heartbreaking rape that frequently includes the woman watching her husband and children killed and raped as well. Here are a few excerpts:
"Also in the room is 28-year-old Henriette Nyota. Her spirit is all but broken. Three years ago, she said, she was gang raped as her husband and four children were forced to watch. The men in uniform then disemboweled her husband and continued raping her and her two oldest daughters, 10 and 8. The assault went on for three days."
"Fifteen-year-old Olivier was sitting down to dinner with his family when the front door of their house was smashed in. Olivier's father was the first to be killed followed by his mother, right in front of the children. They then raped Olivier's three sisters, and when he tried to fight them they turned on him. One at a time, more than a dozen in all, he said."
Reading these stories terrify me. What if that happened to me?? Could I survive it?? Would I want to??
I always expect people who do horrible things to others to look like horrible people...but they usually look just like everyone else. They look like, and many times are, someone's husband and father. What changes men in order for them to behave this way?? What keeps the men I know from changing like this??
Stories like this make me want to retreat back into a manless world for safety (or perceived safety). How do I stay open to the good men I know without always wondering. I can't imagine the men I know doing something like that but what about the wives and daughters of the Congolese soldiers...can they imagine their men doing this?
Today I'm feeling apprehensive about men...not afraid exactly...but not as trusting.
posted by Lori | 8:46 AM
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