As Days Go By

No amount of persecution will try you as much as experiences like these - ones in which you are required to wait on God. Once He has spoken His promise to work, it is truly hard to wait as you see the days go by with no fulfillment. Yet it is this discipline of faith that will bring you into a knowledge of God that would otherwise be impossible.

I'm ashamed of my inability to sustain my faith. I think it happens most when I can't overcome fear. I think of Peter and his denial of Christ because of fear. I guess I'm in good company but I keep wanting my faith to be stronger than anyone else's. I want to be perfect in everything...my faith, my fencing, my work, my loving, my life. The harder I try, the more imperfect I become.

I love God. I always have. I suppose that's why I feel so ashamed when I fail at my faith. The more something is important to me, the more ashamed I am when I let myself and others down.

So, I will try once more to not give up on anything, especially my faith in God's word. God spoke His promise to me and I have to believe God will follow it through to completion. If I can't be perfect in anything else, I'd like to be perfect in my faith.

God, forgive me my for my unfaithfulness and help me to wait on you no matter how long or painful it may be.