Page 449

And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation -- some fact of my life -- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake. (AA Big Book, page 449)

I realized today that my problem is not with my ability to be patient. I've been patient for almost 5 years now and I'm willing to continue being patient while I wait on God. My problem is with acceptance. I'm frustrated that I can't gracefully accept my lack of control. I want answers that aren't being given, change that isn't happening, and reassurance from the one person who doesn't offer it.

Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake.

I believe it...I'm just having trouble accepting it.

Overcoming Fear

“Let my prayer come before thee: incline thine ear unto my cry. (Psalms 88:2)”

I prayed today.

Now, that isn’t something out of the ordinary for me. I pray everyday, many times a day. God probably wishes I’d take a break sometimes but, persistence being my strongest suit, I pretty much keep after God like a dog with a bone. But my persistence in prayer isn’t the reason for my blog today.

Today I prayed out loud. For those who know me, that’s not something I do unless I’m alone. We have a small group of us at work that get together and pray every morning. The whole thing was my idea when I came back after my back surgery. I've frequently felt bad that everyone else in the group took turns praying and I never did. I thought about it but never had the nerve to do it.

Today I was called on by one of the members in the group and I almost passed on the opportunity – but I didn’t. It wasn’t particularly eloquent or profound but it was sincere and from the heart. It wasn’t so bad after all. It was nice to be an active part of the group and take my share of responsibility for its continuation. It's an important thing that we are doing, for our patients, the staff, and for those of us in the group.

I prayed out loud today, and became a part of the group I created. It was a real blessing to me. I hope it was for the others as well.

Now...let me get back to being persistent in my personal prayers to God.