In a League of Her Own

April 24, 2007 -- ROSIE O'Donnell's blue humor made faces red when she emceed the Matrix Awards in front of 2,000 feting New York's most accomplished women in media at the Waldorf-Astoria Grand Ballroom yesterday.

The loose-lipped lesbian dropped the F-bomb as Barbara Walters lowered her head on the dais and covered her face with her hand. O'Donnell concluded a rant about Donald Trump by grabbing her crotch and shouting, "Eat me!"

O'Donnell also said she was sad when Trump called her "disgusting" and "fat" because, "it was always my dream to give an old, bald billionaire a boner."

Since 1970, New York Women in Communication's Matrix Awards Luncheon has been recognized by New York's communications and entertainment community as one of the most outstanding events of the year. Well over one thousand people gather to salute eight exceptional women from advertising, arts and entertainment, books, broadcasting, magazines, newspapers, public relations and new media. Each woman is presented with the prestigious Matrix Award.

I used to really like Rosie, especially in the movie "A League of Our Own". She used to be funny and I was excited when she "came out". I felt like it would help the perception of the gay community by the non-gay community.

Now, I'm just embarrassed and disgusted by her inappropriate behavior. She isn't improving any one's perception of the gay community or of women in general.

I know she isn't the only public person that is disgusting and inappropriate, but right now my blog is about her.

Heart sick

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when dreams come true, there is life and joy.
Proverbs 13:12 (NLT)

Tonight I feel heart sick. I don't even know if I have any reason to feel this way. It seems all I can see is my "hope deferred" and I know that speaks volumes about my level of faith and my ability to persevere. There are times things seem so clear and I can see the fulfillment of my dreams just as clearly as I heard God's voice. Then there are times like now when it seems I just watch the days of my life slip away so quickly that I fear there will be no time for the dreams to come true.

God, help me to wait in faith, but please have mercy on me when I am unable to tolerate your time frame. My heart is full and I long for you to not keep my hope waiting beyond my ability to endure.

Let the one without sin...

Love, friendship and respect do not unite people as much as a common hatred for something.
Anton Chekhov

I was talking with a friend today about the problems that have occurred in the Episcopal Church. There have been several hot issues that have caused the denomination to turn against itself. Many have chosen to become aligned with the conservative branch of the Anglican Church under non-American Bishops. Technically, the Episcopal Church is a part of the overall "Anglican" community. The Episcopal Churches in America have taken a more liberal turn and their direction has become intolerable to the more conservative members. It has caused pain, schism, financial problems and legal battles for the denomination.

I have my own views, feelings and beliefs about the issues that are the most contentious - consecration of homosexuals and same-sex unions, but my post today isn't about those issues. My post today is about my opening quote and what I'm looking for in a church.

I want a church home whose primary focus is on the love of Christ. I have no need beyond that to make judgements about who God can and cannot work through. I have no need to determine which branch of the Anglican fellowship is "right". I find God in my heart, not a pew. But it bothers me when church congregations pull together based on a common hatred instead of a common love, friendship and respect.

The Anglicans believe they are right. The Episcopalians believe they are right. I believe both groups sincerely believe they are doing their best to do God's will. Perhaps they both are in their own ways. I gave up long tme ago trying to figure out God's plan and I'm sure God doesn't need my help to accomplish it. What I do believe God needs me to do is to focus on one thing - the love and saving grace of Christ. If can keep my focus where it belongs, I have no need to choose who is "right".

Perhaps what is really important is that the Anglicans and the Episcopalians find a way to keep their focus on Christ and not on their judgements of the other...and I have seen it from both groups. Perhaps they should pray for each other and move on to serve God and the many people out there that need a church home.

I'm tired of the issues. I wish both groups well and will pray for them. I just keep hoping I can find a church home in the Anglican/Episcopal tradition whose focus isn't on who should or shouldn't be allowed to consecrate the elements and serve the people.

Let the one without sin determine who is the most qualified to consecrate and lead God's people.

A New Beginning

Maundy is from a Latin word meaning "Mandate" or Commandment. It reminds us that on the Thursday before Jesus Christ was crucified he instituted the Holy Communion at the Last Supper. At that Supper he commanded his disciples to continue with this celebration of Holy Communion as a way of remembering what his death accomplished. He also commanded his disciples to serve others by using the image of the washing of the feet of his disciples

Today is Easter Sunday and I'm grateful to God for my opportunity to celebrate another one. But what I want to write about is Maundy Thursday. As the quote above says, "Maundy" comes from the Latin word for mandate or commandment. It commemorates the last supper where the disciples were commanded by Jesus to celebrate the "eating of the bread and drinking of the cup" as a way to remember the sacrifice He was about to make for us.

Communion was something we celebrated monthly as a Methodist, weekly when I was a member of St Catherine's Episcopal Church, and weekly when I was a member of St Luke's MCC. I always preferred the weekly Communion. It was the focal point for me in the service...my chance to re-examine my heart, confess my sins, be forgiven, and then remember and honor what Jesus did for everyone, including someone like me.

But I had given up attending church for quite a while because of the traumatic way things ended at St Luke's MCC. I was angry at God and the "people of God" and wanted nothing to do with them. I found solace and a return to spiritual values through the love and compassion of the KTC Tibetan Buddhist group. I tried hard to be a good Buddhist, and I still carry with me many of the things I learned about the importance of love and compassion. I just couldn't seem to let go of God in my life, even when I thought I wanted to.

I guess God decided that I needed a very tangible, "road to Damascus" kind of experience to bring my focus back to where it belonged for me. I had a "lifestyle" conversion that both brought me back to God but also created a relationship with Jesus that I never quite had before. God changed my sexual orientation overnight and the only information that was given to me was that I was to be married to a particular man. My life and its focus has changed and I know that my life is in the hands of God and this man.

You might wonder what that has to do with Maundy Thursday and Easter. I attended services on Maundy Thursday this past week and took communion for the first time in about 5 years. I had been offered opportunities within that time period but had declined each one. I had decided that I wouldn't take Communion again until I could take it with the man God had given my life to. But I was wrong to do so and I felt that very clearly Thursday evening. My relationship with God and the remembrance of what Jesus did for me was something that I had no right to put on hold for anything or anybody. It was a very emotional experience for me but I know it was the right thing to do. I owe God my life and all things in it, and to choose to not celebrate that has been the ultimate ingratitude toward God on my part.

So, this Easter, I celebrate with a new spirit and a new heart. I will continue to wait until God, and the man God gave me to, believe me to be ready to take my place beside him and to support him in the ministry God has planned for him. What I won't do is fail to remember what God did for me through Jesus. When given the opportunity, I will ask God to make my heart right, hear my confession, grant me forgiveness, and allow me to take part in the remembrance of the ultimate sacrifice Jesus made, even for someone like me.

And I will still look forward to the day that I can share that celebration with the man who will be my husband.