Voices in My Head

MONTANA BOY FOUND DROWNED IN SEPTIC TANK
January 28, 2007

KALISPELL, Mont. – The body of a 3-year-old boy who disappeared outside a home near here was found in a septic tank late Friday, less than 10 feet from where he was reported missing two days earlier, Flathead County Sheriff Mike Meehan said Saturday. An autopsy performed in Missoula showed Loic J.M. Rogers drowned, Meehan said.

The blond, blue-eyed boy was reported missing Wednesday night, and an Amber Alert was issued Thursday. The boy's father, Mark Rogers, told police he took Loic out to his car outside a friend's home and told the boy to get in, before going back into the house for Loic's sister. Rogers told investigators he was inside only for a minute, Meehan said Friday. When the father came back outside, the boy was gone. Rogers said he searched for about 20 minutes before calling law enforcement.

Authorities said Saturday they had looked in the septic tank during search efforts but did not see anything. They found the boy's body after draining the tank, Meehan said. The manhole-sized lid to the septic tank was closed. Meehan declined to characterize the boy's death as a homicide, but he said investigators do not believe he could have climbed into the tank and put the lid back on.
One of the boy's parents had taken a lie detector test, but FBI agent Rick Rasmussen would not say which one or release the results. Meehan said it would likely take four to five days to complete the investigation.

In an interview with the (Kalispell) Daily Inter Lake, Ariel Rogers confirmed Friday that she and her husband are involved in a custody battle for their three children. Mark Rogers was given temporary custody during their separation. "I want the kids and so does he," Ariel Rogers said. "We love our children. (Mark) would never do anything to hurt our children." Ariel Rogers, who is expecting her fourth child, was hospitalized so doctors could monitor her after she learned of her son's death.

Imagine what it must have been like drowning in a septic tank...in the dark...in the filth and stench...terrified and bewildered...and only three years old. It must have been worse than the worst nightmare he ever had. This time he wasn't asleep and he'd never wake up. This story is bad enough if it was an accidental death, and even worse if it was an intentional homicide.

The voice in my head says the death penalty, as we practice it, is too easy for this murderer. He or she should have to suffer the same type of horrendous end to life..swallowing mouth-fulls of human waste and choking on it until nothing else exists except for an afterlife in hell.

Then I think of the Quaker group I attended. Quakers don't believe in fighting and killing. They believe that no one has the right to extinguish the light of God that each of us has in us. Yes, each one of us. None of us has the market on a sinless life...and sin is sin.

I also think of the Buddhist group I attended. Buddhists don't believe in killing of any kind. All lives are equal and valuable. I admit I still kill roaches and spiders...but it bothers me more now when I do it. I try not to kill anything just because I can. Buddhists believe in karma and they believe you have to work off bad karma in the next life. I believe in the western version of karma..."what goes around, comes around." If I'm in favor of this murderer dying in the same manner as the little boy, could I be the one to push him into the septic tank and watch him drown?

Then the voice in my head says...if I can't do it myself, is it still ok to expect someone else to do it? Can I be in favor of something like the death penalty and yet keep my own hands clean, my karma good, and what goes around not coming back around to me? Can I be true to what I believe, and not be willing to take action to prove it? I don't know.

Then the voices in my head say, I believe in brain surgery, higher mathematics, Olympic fencing, and bridge building, but do I have to be able to do them to believe in them?

I have so many voices rolling around in my head over this issue and I'm never completely comfortable with being pro, or anti, death penalty. I want to be a responsible, loving, Christian who does the right thing. I don't know what
prompted someone to do such an awful thing, but where is my forgiveness? Does forgiveness mean no consequences? I want to be forgiven for my sins. Then I'm back to sin is sin is sin. It's all so confusing. I try to listen to all the voices so I can make the right decision... and I can hear them all.

Except the voice of a three year old boy. Who speaks for him?

Sad News

Today we mourn the passing of a friend by the name of Common Sense.

Common sense lived a long life but died from heart failure. No one really knows how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He selflessly devoted his life to service in schools, hospitals, homes, factories and offices. He helped folks get jobs done without fanfare and foolishness.

For decades, petty rules, silly laws and frivolous lawsuits held no power over Common Sense. He was credited with cultivating such valued lessons as to know when to come in out of the rain, the early bird gets the worm, and life isn't always fair.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn), reliable parenting strategies (the adults are in charge, not the kids), and it's okay to come in second.

A veteran of the Industrial Revolution, the Great Depression, and the Technological Revolution, Common Sense survived cultural and educational trends including, body piercing, whole language, ebonics and new math. His health declined when he became infected with the "If it only helps one person it's worth it" bug.

In recent decades his waning strength proved no match for the ravages of overbearing federal regulation. He watched in pain as good people became ruled by self-seeking lawyers and enlightened auditors. Common Sense knew the end was near when schools endlessly implemented zero tolerance policies, reports of six-year-old boys charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, a teen suspended for taking a swig of mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, when schools had to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student but cannot inform the parent when the female student is pregnant or wants an abortion.

Finally, Common Sense lost his will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses, criminals received better treatment than victims, and federal judges stuck their noses in everything from Boy Scouts to professional sports. Common Sense drifted in and out of logic but was kept informed of developments, regarding questionable regulations for asbestos,low-flow toilets, smart guns, the nurturing of Prohibition Laws and mandatory air bags.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. Three stepbrothers survive him: Rights, Tolerance and Whiner.

Not many attended his funeral unfortunately, because so few realize he is gone.

Ain't it the truth!

Hannah

This is my girl...my Hannah. She was born on 8-12-06 and weighed all of 4 oz. She was one of 4 in the litter where only she and her sister survived. Her sister is three times her size. I guess that makes her the "runt" of the litter.

I named her Hannah because the name means "favored by God" and I figured that if she survived at her size, she must have been favored and she deserved a name that said so. She is the sweetest puppy I've ever met. She loves everyone, knows when to be quiet, can entertain herself with her toys, squeals like a pig when she hasn't seen you for a while and gives great kisses. She wags her stub so hard that her whole body shakes when she's happy. Lately, she has also started to be protective of me, growling low and deep when she sees something dangerous...like the reflection of the tv screen in the sliding glass door.

One of the funniest things was watching her try to figure out where the other dogs came from when she saw her own reflection in my black appliances in the kitchen. It happened again when we started playing ball and she ran to get the ball and saw her reflection in the glass storm door. You could almost see smoke coming from her little pads when she put on the brakes at the sight of that "other dog".

Hannah has been a delight to have. She helps to fill some of the need I have to care for someone and to be responsible for someone. I have a need to be needed and she helps me with that. She allows me to love her without any obstacles. I'm never afraid that she will reject me, criticize me, or not forgive me. She gives me something to hug whenever I want to...even if only because she can't stop me! I love my Hannah and I think having her in my life makes me "favored by God". There is only one thing Hannah can't do for me. She can't hold me.

I wish she could.

Whatever It Takes?

If you're not willing to lose, then you'll do whatever it takes to win, and you become someone you're not.

I just found this quote by Katie Couric in an article called "What I've Learned". It made me think about myself and my life. I hate to lose. I always have. Fortunately, I've been pretty good at winning most of the time and I'm grateful for that. It's easier to win when the stakes are lower, or the outcome isn't as important. When winning isn't as critical or uncertain, it's easier to stay who I am. But sometimes the stakes are high, and the desire for the outcome to go my way is much stronger. It gets much harder to stay who I am under those circumstances.

I want something now. I want something now more than I have ever wanted anything else. Winning this one is important to me and sometimes I struggle with staying true to who I want to be in my life. I want to be married and I want it to be a peaceful, loving, relaxing relationship. I want it so much that my tendency is to accept things the way they are even when I want or need something to be different. The more I want something, or someone, I become afraid to ask for what I want and need, especially face to face. I'm always afraid that what I want will disappear if I make my needs clear.

This fear of losing isn't honest and it works against me. If I'm honest, it might be more than he wants to deal with. If I'm not honest, then I become someone else, even if I "win". I want to be strong enough to lose, even if it means losing the most important thing to me. Honesty is the only way to be that strong and I need to start looking him in the eyes and telling him what I need. If I can't do that now, I'll never be able to do that when we're together.

But what if he doesn't like what I say and goes away..........

Dream Come True

I have only one thing to say tonight:

GO GATORS...YOU DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

They certainly deserved the National Title tonight.

Now...I gotta get to sleep so I can enjoy the dream come true.